This is undoubtedly my most popular blog to date.  I posted it on facebook and the comments came pouring in.  I am thinking that the thought...the premise behind this blog might be expanded into the book I keep swearing I'm going to write.  I'd love to see comments, and different opinions or points of view on this one.  Enjoy.

People People People....

I have come to the conclusion, that, in so many things that it is safe to go ahead, be cliché and say in life in general, the following statement has proven to be absolutely true.

Wishing Doesn't Make It So

I realize that sometimes I use very obscure quotes and a lot of times the meanings of things that I say are missed, misconstrued, or worse they are taken 180% wrong which is how I got this irritating reputation of being rude. Ha ha. But I digress.

My statement means simply this: You can want something and want something and still not get it. It goes even further. Not only can you want something and want something and still not get it, but you can even WORK towards that thing, actually strive to bring it to fruition, only to watch your dream burn away into nothingness like so many things I've tried to cook in my time. In many cases they are only the fabled "dreams of the moment"...where you want something very very badly one month, and then the next month you look at that $2000 expenditure and can't remember why you ever thought you needed a miniature pink leather covered piano signed by Little Richard (and this statement applies just as much when dealing with the opposite sex as it does for hastily purchased Ebay "treasures"). Again...I digress.

As I was saying before I got myself off on a tangent...Some people were just not meant to have certain things.

Interpretation One: Although this is the first interpretation, it is actually secondary to the reasoning for which I have latched on to my statement…..but important just the same. You can want something so badly that you'll do almost anything to get it…including the trusty three that almost everyone can name LIE CHEAT AND STEAL to get them, and STILL not succeed. Sometimes you don't get the things you want simply because of how you go about attaining them. Why try the back road when you've never ventured up the front? Why break the window instead of knocking at the front door? Why hide when being in plain view benefits you more?

Interpretation Two: But sometimes….It just isn't in God's plan. If God did not mean for you to be a basketball player, you can work, exercise, practice shooting, be Allen Iverson's third cousin once removed and still not make it to the NBA. You just can folks. Sad truth. But that of course, shouldn't keep you from trying things. You just have to understand that sometimes in your life you will make a leap of faith, but what you think was faith may have been avarice, or even simple stupidity. It may not have been your time. You may have upset an important person along the way. You just may not have….almost anything really…because there are so many reasons why you couldn't have gotten that one thing you just couldn't live without. It's easy to miss that brass ring when you grab for it…its slippery and only the lucky few can reach it and hang on, but that shouldn't stop you from taking your shot. Always take your shot, but just know that all things happen for a reason, and sometimes what you lose better prepares you for what you will gain later. Or what you lose makes you stronger to deal with the next worst thing to ever happen to you. Either way, you will be blessed to have gained something new from every situation in which you find yourself placed in; whether you got there by God's good grace, or your own stupidity. And that one thing is KNOWLEDGE. The knowledge to make better decisions in the future. Don't be shrouded by the past and let it color your life…let your life be painted by the good and not the bad. Wear bright colors. Laugh until you cry. Forgive someone. Do something silly and enjoy every second of it. I have done this much to the horror of my sisters and brothers (because I'm extra goofy most of the time) and it has given me so many moments of joy, that when bad moments happen I have a million good memories to combat them. And it has led me to love. I have loved hard and I have lost and I have gained again. And sometimes that is just life. When given the chance to love, always grasp it fully ride it until the wheels fall off! You may miss the first time when trying to catch that dream of yours, but keep trying because in the end, you will be a stronger, better YOU for it.

So where am I going with all of this? Well hell, I dunno…but I feel loads better for having said it all. Hopefully someone out there was helped in some way by my ramblings. I just re-read it and I am cringing at all the clichés, but actually, when I'm sad or in a bad mood, I really do think in clichés for some reason (Examples: the sun'll come out tomorrow…it's always darkest before the dawn…don't count your chickens before they're hatched…my mind is like a cliché thesaurus).

It's ..almost 3am here which might account for this….either way….be blessed!

So I've decided that I need to archive all of my blogs in the same place, so I'm moving some because I don't want to give out my personal facebook page to everyone.  That being said, here is one of my more traumatic episodes... still think I should have file workers comp for this one!  :)

Okay so yeah yall know my luck is ridiculously bad, although always comically so...anyway, you might THINK it's impossible, but let me explain.

So I went to the ice cooler at work but some idiot janitor had rested a bunch of brooms and mops against the lid....so I'm bending over to move them and I back up to get them out of the way...WHAM! I feel an excrutiating pain and I reach for my back...BLOOD. Something around here drew blood! I turn around...lo and behold, I've been stabbed by a fish. Yes....a fish. For some reason, one of the geniuses at my job (a college no less) has left a hard plastic fish half in, half out of the freezer that's currently not in use. I looked around for Ashton but I wasn't being punked....just set up to be assaulted by a blue gill. Or whatever it is. Ouch. I now have one of those really long scratches at the base of my back and it's turned into a welt that stings like crazy! A friend of mine just suggested that someone set me up since I go and get ice every morning....hm.....am I being paranoid? Lol.

Check out the offending party. I was gonna file a worker's comp claim but the paperwork would be embarrassing. Lol.

Up close of Charlie the Evil Tuna

Death Trap of an Ice Machine Room

 See:?!  See!  Is wasn't just me!  Mmmkay, looking back, this was super hilarious, but at the time I was like FML who does this kind of stuff happen to?  *rubs the scar on my back*

In sea
rching for a suitable quote for tomorrow to post on Twitter for CafeMom, I came across this great website.  

I know that when you have not experienced what we have...sometimes you just have NO clue what to say...so you don't say anything.  I can tell you that most people in my life simply ignore the fact that I ever HAD another son.  It's just so unpleasant to talk about, and I get that.  I mean, how do you acknowledge what might have been the worst life experience a person has had?  For me, talking about Aydyn is cathartic, because he is and was such a very important part of me, but in all honesty, certain phrases make me cringe inside.

I said all that to say, this website gives you some things you can do if you are close to someone that's lost a child and most importantly, things to avoid saying...it's a pretty good list in my opinion.


For parents who are grieving the loss of a child, there are no words to relieve the tremendous heartache and pain they feel. To make matters worse, bereaved parents may be avoided by friends and acquiantances who do not know what to do or say.
It can be overwhelming to try to offer words of comfort to moms and dads after the death of a child. However this is a time when they desperately need the support of friends and family.
You can help grieving parents in many ways. Here are some suggestions of things to say:

• "I'm sad for you."
• "I'm here to listen."
• "Take all the time you need."
• "I can't imagine how painful this must be for you."
• "How can I help?"
• "Let's spend some time together."
• "It's okay to be sad or angry around me."
• "Tell me more about your child."
• "I'm thinking about you."

One of the hardest things about the death of a child is trying to figure out a reason for it. It just doesn't make sense, parents should not outlive their children. With any death, the key to offering words of sympathy is to not give explanations or solutions for grief.
Avoid these statements:

• "God needed her more than we did."
• "At least you have other children."
• "It was God's will."
• "Your child is in a better place now."
• "I know just how you feel."

Don't avoid parents grieving the loss of a child. It is okay that you cannot make it better or take away their pain. Remember that it is simple gestures and words that mean so much to the grieving.

Ways to Help Grieving Parents Cope With the Loss of a Child

Be a friend who acknowledges the loss and is willing to talk about it or rather listen to them talk about their feelings and memories.
Realize that the family is under immense emotional strain. Any practical help you can provide with household chores, meals or childcare will be greatly appreciated. Parents need a chance to put life on hold and grieve.
Help them create ways of remembrance and rituals to commemorate the child's life.
Here are some things you can suggest or do with them:

• Make a memory box for parents to keep momentos and pictures of their child.
• Plant a tree or flower in memory of the child.
• Bake cupcakes together on the child's birthday and take them to a children's hospital.
• Make a teddy bear or stuffed toy with pieces of fabric from the child's clothing.

You may want to encourage them to join with hundreds of other bereaved parents for the Worldwide Candle Lighting. It is held Sunday December 14th, 2008 at 7 pm local time around the globe. This is believed to be the largest mass candle lighting in the world.

Releasing Butterflies

Print a butterfly sympathy poem and purchase a butterfly for a friend. Have them release the butterfly into the sky to symbolize releasing their child into God's hands.
I ultimately chose this quotation:
As you danced in the light with joy,
love lifted you. As you brushed against
this world so gently, you lifted us.
T.C. Ring

Please join me in lighting a candle tomorrow night (October 15th) at 7pm.  Let our little lights continue to shine in our hearts.

To put how tiny he was into perspective, here are his footprints. 

As many of you know, I love the website Cafemom.  I own a couple of groups there and definitely would have had a much harder pregnancy if it wasn't for the advice and support I received from the ladies there.  It's an amazing site...kind of like a MySpace for moms (ignoring how lame MySpace is).  There are groups for everything, from tv shows to debate groups..if you can think of it, there's probably a group for women who love it.  Point is...one of the things they do is give things out that they get from their advertisers.  I've been the recipient of some pretty cool stuff from them in the past; laundry detergent, beauty products, etc.  Recently, for being a member of a group of moms that love shopping at Kohl's, I got a great tote bag.  Here's for going green using something from two of my favorite places!



It's super sturdy and I can use it for my frequent library trips.  My town library is teeny tiny and so I have to reserve books and then pick them up en masse.



 Thanks to CafeMom and Kohl's!

So Jordan is at his grandmother's house on his fathers side.  It'd be nice if I had something to do to constitute the babysitter...but instead I'm sitting home re-doing my blog, watching the pilot of LOST (seriously what will I do once it ends tomorrow??) and just playing around on the internet....
I seriously need to get myself some business.